Ask Atty
by Vanilla Ice Chocolate
Summary: Atticus owns an advice column, using the name "Atty" no one will ever know it's him... feel free to ask him anything in your reviews!
1. Chapter 1

_Welcome to Atty's advice column on the academy's paper!_  
Need to know something? or just bored? you can ask Atty anything in your reviews ask him where babies come from or other random questions, or you can actual ask him for adive... Maybe Tell him how much you love or hate him. Ask him about the GX show! But remember you don't know who Atty is and he is not by any chance Atticus Rhodes or Fubuki Tenjoin! So send in your love and ask Atty questions!

**A/N i know it's short but i just need reviews to get this thing going. So please send in your questions!**


	2. Is Atty Pretty?

A/N This chapter is not funny.. it's meant to be.. :( Arrg i suck at humor:

**Dear Atty:**

**Are you gay?**

**PS. sorry i've been reading too much yaoi!**

**Love Vampirebloodprincess**

_Dear Vampire blood princess:_

_Am I gay?! EXCUSE ME! I AM NOT GAY! But since I had no idea what gay means I'll look it up:_

Atticus flipped through the dictionary...

"Gab? What the is Gab? Mah, Gay.. Gay… Damnit where is it?! Wait.. YAY! I FOUND IT! a gay object is a brightly colored and pretty to look at. Am I pretty? Better go ask Alexis!"

Atticus- I mean Atty ran all the way to Alexis's dorm shouting her name. Repeatedly...

"WHAT!" Alexis finally screamed. Her face scarlet. Atticus looked at his sister with chibi eyes. "Alexis.. Am I.. Prewtty?" Alexis looked at her brother and started to laugh, she was basically on the floor. But she was half nodding and that was good enough for Atty.

(back to letter)

_Scrap what I said. I'm gay, since I'm pretty!! I'll send you a picture of myself so I could proof to you that I'm pretty! HUZZZAH!_

_-Love Atty_

A/N I really looked up "gay" in the dictionary, and it meant that in the olden days Mah, Heehe xD this chapter was such a lame attemped, please keep sending in your questions i'll answer them in next chapters


	3. Zane is Smexxi

A/N Wow... two chapters in one day O.o i get bored easily.

**I LOVE YOU ATTY! ...even though I don't know ur real name. Well, can u give me advice? ..well of course you can! My friend writes poems, and I think they're good, but she doesn't...what can I tell her to make her feel better? **

oh yeah and a question! ...who is the sexiest person in the world?? 

**-Syrusfanatic12 **

_Dear Syrusfanatic12: _

_Keep nagging her, I do it to Zane all the time. Tell her their REALLY good and outline the parts you like of the Poem and tell her -_

"ALEXIS!" Atty called, slamming the door open.

"WHAT?!" Alexis called back. Sitting on his bed, she hid whatever she was doing.

"Your not answering my letters again are you?" Atticus asked, raising an eyebrow. Alexis chuckled a bit, running out of the room as Atticus picked up the paper she was writing on and started to read it. "I wrote that? When… ? Mah, might as well keep going!"

_that she's good at writing and that you demand that she must think her poems rock.. Or Else!_

_now to answer your question the sexiest person in the whole world is Zane! -don't give me that look, I'm straight, wait I mean I'm gay since I'm PRETTY!- but I mean have you seen that guy without a shirt on?! He has a full on 6 pack and he's so smexxi! _

_Love Atty_

A/N Sorry Syrusfanatic12 that didn't help much did it :S


	4. What is love?

**Hey "Atty!" I LOVE YOU! Anyways,here's my question, what is love anyway? Oh and, how do you learn to play the guitar? Thats all for no "Atty!"**

**-I love everything **

_Dear Love, _

_I know you love me everybody does! Who doesn't love the A-man? Now to your question. You would think the master of love would know what love is wouldn't you? And because I'm saying that you love me… Well… it's so sad but I don't know what love is!_

Atty starts to sob. "I always thought I knew what love was!" he started banging his head on his desk. Just then Jaden walks in looking like this: O.o

"ATTY!! I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE EVIL DESK THAT'S TRYING TO EAT YOU!" he screamed jumping on Atty's back. Then finally they both fell. "I did it? I'm a hero!"

"Jaden.. What is.. L-love?"

"No clue, let's look it up!"

And so they did:

"Now how do you spell LOVE?" Atticus wondered out loud, Jaden and him both thought…

And after many hours of searching the_ whole_ dictionary they found it:

Love- Love is a very strong feeling of affection towards someone who are romantically or sexually attracted to.

_There you have it, love is a feeling of some sort! YAY I can finally say "Love" with knowing what it is! Ok, can you keep a secret? I'll tell you anyway, Zane taught me he has about 5 million guitars in his room. But if you tell anyone Zane will kill me I'm serious, no one has to know he likes to be annoying, it's a secret. _

_Love Atty (yes! I know what love is!)_


	5. Is Zane Gay?

**So you ARE gay? Whatever.**

**i've got ANTHER question! (i'm a cornucopia of questions.)**

**is ZANE gay? Or does he like your sister? What would you say if they were dating? He going steady with someone? Or are YOU? **

**(PS: i'm not fond of that couple. Just asking you, you're the brother.)**

**-WhiteLadyDragon**

_Dear WhiteLadyDragon_

_Eh, you ask alot. I guess Zane is gay. He's pretty hot right? I already told you guys he was Smexxi! Raise your hand if you think Zane's sexy! _

_Wait does gay still mean pretty or did they change it? it i'm not looking it up again... Does he like my sister? Lemme check:_

"ZANE!" Atty shouted running to his dorm and opening the door. " WOOHOO IT'S OPEN!" Atty shouted grabbing the diary of the floor. It's fur pink with the letter "Z" Painted over it in curlz. "Mwahahahahah" Atty laughed before staring to read. He opened the dairy inside the pages were all PINK too! What does that boy do?

"Dear diary, i think i'm in love... With Alexis, what shall i do? Urg, i've read enough! wait i better tell Alexis"

"LEXI!" Atticus screamed appearing out of thin air. O.o Alexis was sick of her brother! Grr she needed a plan to kill him! "Zane likes you!!"

"Atticus are you sure this isn't one of your Make-Lex-fall-for-Zane plans?"

"T.T"

(Back to letter)

_He likes Alexis but he likes me better always! IN YOUR FACE ALEXIS! And if they were dating i'd be happy... I'VE BEEN TRYING TO HOOK ALEXIS UP FOR YEARS! That girl is like a... YEAH!_

_No Zane isn't doing steady with anyone.. UNLESS HE LIED! But i think he's dating Mindy or something. And i go steady with a girl every 10 secounds . WAIT HOW DID YOU KNOW I'M ALEXIS'S BROTHER? you won't tell anyone righhttttttt? That would ruin me! _

_Love Atty_

A/N sorry that the chapters aren't funny T.T and sorry for all the gay talk i'm not trying to offend anyone! BTW i'm going to need help doing a few chapters since i'd failed... Grr writting humor is harder then being funny...


End file.
